Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
