imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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