what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I'm eating all of the evidence.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
