i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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