ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Cover your peen. We're going out.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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