I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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