I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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