Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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