It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
