wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
