:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
