Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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