This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
