my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize