I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Everclear isn't food dammit
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
