My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
