I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
