I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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