VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
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