Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
