Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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