She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
try to milk me bitch
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