i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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