so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
