we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
