I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
