When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
