He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Why is your signature on my underwear?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize