He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize