my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
