Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
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