i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
