Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Is it penis luge time yet?
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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