He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
The power of my boobs compel you
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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