I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
