hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
