this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
