We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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