you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
