ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
