at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
