Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
