Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
