Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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