Pappa wants mamma naked
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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