"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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