I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I just blew my weed a kiss
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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