Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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