I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
