I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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