I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
