Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
