And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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