Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize