I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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