We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
