Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
