Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
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