We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
