She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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