he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
