Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
