She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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