You work out of a Hotel?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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